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Full disclosure before we proceed: Men of other races, particularly East Asian men will also benefit from this post to a certain extent. Is Racism The Problem? One of the most common insecurities among brown guys asking for game advice is that non-brown girls and in particular, white girls are racist against brown men in terms of dating. Now I want all of you to picture the most stereotypically racist type of person you can think of in the Western world. A young, urban, single white women probably came to mind. The bleeding heart liberal, SWPL type of white girl, who are a dime a dozen in the places where brown people congregate most densely in the West: C metropolitan areas of the United States. The type of women that some brown men think they cannot sleep with due to racism are the least racist cohort of people in the world, and probably of all of human history so far. Since these are the girls that Indian men will have to approach the most as they improve their game, racism is not the primary issue here.

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Then my dad made a comment about financial assets, which they interpreted as a request for dowry. She told me that she wanted to marry me, but her whole family was against it. On Shaadi, I can pick who I want to date. Because he was Marathi, the stakes were higher, so I was a bit more nervous than usual.

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Is it Me or My Ethnicity The sad (and empowering) lives of Desi gays

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I speak with a Canadian accent and am completely Westernized. Since moving to Toronto I’ve had success dating Indian and other minority women. But my success rate with white women has plummeted although I do well with brown women and other minorities. I’m still the same guy in both environments. Toronto has a huge population of South Asians.

However, my perception is that brown males here have a negative reputation. It’s rare to see brown men in Toronto date outside their race due to negative stereotyping. And it’s possible that the pervasive negative stigma towards Indian males in Toronto was ruining my ability to date interracially my Toronto Indian guy friends can also speak to this.

It’s almost as if Toronto white girls don’t want to be seen with a brown guy! I dated a lot of white Canadian girls in the past when I lived a small all-white college town in Canada. What I found with the white girls I dated is that they grew up in small towns, did not have much exposure to Indians in the past, and therefore did not harbour any negative stereotypes towards brown guys. Thus I was able to operate from a neutral blank state and fly under the radar as a sort of “dark white guy” the girls never cared about my ethnicity and I seldom brought it up.

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